To Be Loved
by cbell123
Summary: Rachel is a Cheerio, in Glee, and has 2 great BFFs. Life seems easy, but others don't know her secrets about home? Will the love of 2 best friends change things even more? To love is nothing, to be loved is something, but together, they are everything...
1. Preview

**Hey guys, it's Caroline! I'm the one who wrote **_**Holding Grudges**_** if you read that. I have a new idea, so tell me if you like it. If you give me 10 comments saying you'd be interested in reading it, then I'll start writing. Thanks so much, if you have any questions just let me know. Here it is:**

Description: Rachel is a Cheerio, in Glee, and has 2 great BFFs, Sam Evans and Finn Hudson. Life seems easy for her being on top of the "Food Chain" at McKinley, but others don't know her secrets about home with her parents. Little does everyone else know, Rachel is the daughter of 2 abusive alcoholics. Will Rachel tell someone before it's too late? Will the love of her 2 best friends change things even more? To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but together, they are everything you will ever need.


	2. Chapter 1: On the Inside

**Hey guys! I know I said I would wait until I got at least 10 review, but I thought it would be easier if I just posted one chapter to give you an idea of what it's gonna be like. Thanks for reading! **

**Chapter 1: On the Inside**

**To be in love is nothing, to be loved is something, but to love and be loved is everything.**

Of course, Rachel didn't know what any of this felt like as she strutted into the halls of McKinley High School on the first day of her Senior Year. As she took her graceful steps with her long, tan legs, every pair of eyes was on her. She wore a freshly ironed Cheerio's uniform and was followed by the hottest guys in school (who just happened to be her best friends), Sam and Puck. And right then in that moment, everyone wanted to be her. Of course, they didn't know the truth. If they could see that much, they wouldn't have felt that way at all.

Rachel was trying not to think about last night as she began her daily walk down the halls of her beloved high school. _It was a rough place, and she was lucky enough to be on top, _she though, trying to convince herself that she was being dramatic, but hey, she was Rachel Berry, she was the meaning of dramatic. As she reached her locker, her wonderful boyfriend Finn Hudson walked up to press a rough kiss to her lips. Sam and Puck took the hint and walked their separate ways to class.

"Hey babe!" Finn said. "Hey Finnie!" she responded. "You ready to rule the school?" Rachel nodded and with that they grabbed hands and made their way to their first class of the year.

As Sam walked to class, he planted a smile on his face, nodding to his friends while all the while he wanted to be the one to walk Rachel to her classes, to be able to walk up to her and press a sweet kiss to her beautiful lips, to hold her hand while walking down the hallway, but he knew that wouldn't happen because he just didn't have the courage to tell her how he felt.

Puck walked down the hallway with his badass face plastered onto his broken face. He wanted to love her. He knew he could do a better job than that little douchebag, Finn Hudson. He knew he was kind of like a brother to her, so he didn't know how she would react to his confession of his love. He was still planning on thinking it through for a few more days, a few more weeks maybe a few more years… _No Puck, grab yourself by the balls and tell her how you feel or she's gonna end up marrying Finn the douche!_, he said to himself, though he couldn't seem to convince himself that it was worth it to put himself out there, not the usual behavior for a badass like himself, but love can do that to you.

**At Rachel's House**

Rachel parked her car and stepped out. She stepped up to her front steps and took her usual deep breath before she walked in to her house. She always did that, never knowing what to expect when she stepped into her home. The second she stepped into the house, she could tell that it was going to be a bad night. She could smell the alcohol in the air before her dad stepped into the room.

"Hey dad" she said quietly, planning to quickly say hi and then go up to her room before her other dad could come out. Too bad plans never work out in real life. "Why are you so annoying Rachel" her dad yelled, purposely calling his partner in crime to the scene. "Who's causing trouble?" her other dad called. "Rachel, it's always Rachel baby." he answered. "Let's teach her a lesson Sethie, what do you say babe?" her dad smiling his evil smile. This was going to be a long night, she thought, and that was before the punching started. Then everything went black.

She woke up in her hallway with a headache straight from hell (otherwise known as her house). Luckily her dads had finally gone to bed after beating her senseless. She ran upstairs, locked the door, got ready and met Sam and Puck outside of her house all without waking up the demons on the other side of the house. She would have to stay somewhere else tonight, everything was sore.

:Hey Rachie!" said Sam and Puck in chorus. "Hey guys" she responded giving each one a peck on the cheek and hopping in the back of Sam's old truck. "Hey, can I crash with one of you guys for a few nights, my dads have a business deal and you know how I hate staying alone?" she asked, trying to be casual because she was really desperate on the inside. "Sure!" they both answered. "Ok, I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure I can only be in one place at a time." she said trying to laugh through the pain she was going through. "Hey why don't both of you guys stay at my house for a few nights? It could be like a sleepover for a week! What do you say Puck?" Sam said, solving the conflict as always. "S'cool with me, Sammy boy". He answered in his go-with-the-flow way. "Great, I'll be there about 15 minutes after Cheerio's because I'll have to grab some clothes before. Thanks Sam!" They arrived at school and began all over with the morning line-up, not knowing that everything was going to change that night.


	3. Chapter 2: When It Couldn't Get Worse

**Chapter 2: When It Couldn't Get Any Worse**

**Hey guys! So I know that I asked for 10 reviews, but I know that some of the people who read don't have accounts to review with, and others are just too lazy, so there has to be at least 10 people reading this story. Anyways, I couldn't really wait to post the story, and I also don't want to be the annoying writer who always makes people give a certain number of review, so here it is.**

**Rachel's POV: Sam's car, 8pm Friday night**

I ran out of the rain and jumped into Sam's car. I'm sobbing like crazy now. "W-w-why Sammy. W-w-why w-would h-he do s-something like th-that?" I manage to choke out in between sobs. He was completely clueless to what was going on, but I didn't have the heart to tell him what I just saw.

I just wanted to surprise my boyfriend. Is that a bad thing? Should I not have gone, or should I be happy that I found out when I did. I thought as I replayed the scene in my head.

_I walked up the stairs to surprise Finn, my wonderful boyfriend. He had told me that his parents were going to be out of town, so I thought I would give him a little make-out session to "keep him from getting lonely". I should've stayed home._

"Rachel! Rachel what's wrong? What did that idiot do to you, baby?" Sam yelled angrily, wrapping his arms around me protectively. He made me feel safe, and that's what I needed right now.

_I had just made it to the top when I heard the noises. They were absolutely awful, but that's because they were unmistakably "sex groans"._

"H-h-he, F-Finn ch-ch-cheated on me w-with h-her!" I pushed out of my throat, already having trouble breathing without having to say anything. Sam's arm tightened around me as he reached out his other to grab his phone. I knew without asking exactly who he was calling.

_Without hesitating, I opened the door to a shocked Finn and a very horny Quinn. "Rachel, Rachel wait", Finn said, but he didn't even make the effort to go after me, he was too engaged in being frozen off by the Ice Queen. Before Sam could even pull out of the driveway, I was back inside of his car and safely resting in his arms, right where I belonged._

Puck was here with us within seconds. And soon I could feel his arms around me as Sam drove us back to his house where we would be staying, and I even though I was beyond sad, I couldn't be happier that my dads couldn't add to my misery, not tonight at least.

**Sam's POV: On the way to Sam's house**

I am so fucking mad right now. How could he? He probably doesn't even know that while he's having fun with meaningless sex, Rachel's going into deep depression every time she sees something that remotely reminds her of something like Finn, Quinn, or anything else even sort of relevant, or, in other words, almost EVERYTHING. He doesn't even DESERVE her. Doesn't he know that when you get a girl like Rachel you **never** let her go, EVER? She's perfect. Her brown eyes can make me melt, and her hair is so silky and smooth and gorgeous. She's fucking sexier than anyone I've ever met. And then on the inside: she can make anyone laugh on the worst days of their lives, she knows when to be hilarious, when to be adorable, and when to be sincere and sweet. She's everything that he could ask for and he blows it for cheap sex with the "Ice Queen", of all people. I mean, he could've done it with anyone, but it had to be with the one girl who has been making Rachel's life miserable since middle school when they stopped being best friends so that she could be popular. He's got to be the biggest douche on the Earth.

**Puck's POV: Pulling in Sam's driveway**

I'm holding Rachel and trying to comfort her, but I can't help the fact that my mind's in a completely different world than here. With one look towards each other, Sam and I both know what's going to go down with Finn tomorrow at school. We don't even have to communicate to understand that we are both feeling the exact same thing. Old Finnessa thinks that he can just waltz into our Rachel's life and break her heart into a million pieces, and I though being egged was harsh. This douchebag better know that he's gonna get it when we find him in school tomorrow. I know that I'm into the best at comforting and neither is Sam, so I begin to dial the numbers of Santana, Brittany, Kurt, Tina, and Mercedes. I know they know exactly what to do. They all pick up and rush over to Sam's house ASAP, we all know how fragile Rachel's heart is, and right now, she needs us more than ever.

**Santana's POV: Sam's bedroom**

As I pull into Sam's driveway and make my way upstairs to where I know I will find Rachel sobbing on the bed before I see her, I think thoughts that really shouldn't be expressed about what I'm gonna do to Frankenteen. When he messes with my girl Berry, he messes with me. He doesn't even know what will happens when Lima Heights Adjacent hits him tomorrow morning, and I guess that's for his own good because it WILL NOT be pleasant. As I open Sammy's door, I see exactly what I expected, Rachel is lying on the floor sobbing, and Sam is trying to comfort her to no avail.

"It's OK babe, Auntie Tana's here", I say, and Rachel begins to crawl into my arms as Sam begins to explain what happened from what he understands.

"She went to Finn's house to surprise him because his parents were out of town." he spit out, only making Rachel sob harder, "When she went into his room she found him making whoopee with Barbie. We think that's what happened, we haven't exactly wanted to press for info in her condition right now" he said, obviously so concerned I could hear it in his voice.

"Where's Puckerman?" I asked bluntly, knowing he couldn't be far. "He went to get her some tea?" he responds not taking his off of Rachel as he speaks. Rachel always drinks tea when she's upset, but for this heartbreak I'm gonna need a lot more material.

"Ok Rachie, I'm gonna fix you a bath, and it's gonna feel really good and you are gonna wash all of your tears off, and then we are gonna eat ice cream and drink tea and watch a million chick-flicks until you fall asleep, OK?" I say in a voice I only use with her and Brittany when they are sad like this.

"Thanks Tana, you always know what to do", she says in a voice that sounds like it will break in a second, as she walks into the bathroom where Sam has already started running the water and casually stepped out so she could be alone for her bath time.

"OK, now what chick-flicks do you have, Sammy boy, we need to be fast." Santana asks, so focused on her plan working out, and quickly. Sam shows her a box of videos that Rachel has made him keep at his house for times like this.

"Well, it's small, but I can just have Kurt bring a fraction of his collection on his way out" I say already dialing his number. I tell him exactly what happened and I can hear him grab his to-go box of rom-coms and rush out of the door assuring me that he will be there ASAP, and I move on to the next idea.

"OK, Sammy, sweets?" I say, not very politely, but I don't think Sam really cares at this point. ":Um, well I don't really have many because they are really tempting." he says sort of embarrassed. I type in a number and call Brits from speed dial. She pick up after one ring, almost as if she knows something is up. I know that Brits has an elaborate collection of everything sweet, she's got a major sweet-tooth. "Hey Brits, Rachel emergency, we NEED some of your comfort food. Frankenteen and Barbie, Rachel caught them...it's bad. Hurry!" she says, knowing that even though she her sentences are floating everywhere, Brit knows exactly what is going on and will be there soon, since no one in Glee really lives far from each other. Next I tell Sam to call Mercedes and Tina to pick up some extra ice-cream on their way after explaining what the hell is going on to the only 2 friends to tell.

Finally, after I have finished, I plop down on Sam's bed for a few seconds before Puck walks in with the tea just before everyone starts arriving.

Even though I didn't tell anyone, they all have duffle bags with everything they need to stay overnight. The only thing I don't have to map out for them is the fact that this is going to be a long night. That is obvious.

**Rachel's POV: Sam's bedroom**

As I step out of the bath, I feel 10 times better than I did before. Tana always knows exactly what to do in times like this. How you can get Satan from that, I don't know. I throw on the pajamas that Santana threw in the restroom and walk outside. Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, and Brittany have arrived and brought movies, sweets, and ice-cream. I couldn't ask for better friends, but I could ask for a better boyfriend. And with that thought, I start to cry again.

"Rachie, hey, I don't like seeing you upset, but I have something that will cheer you up", says Brit, always knowing what to say to brighten someone's day. She pulls out a box of Tagalongs (Rachel's favorites) and a jar of vanilla ice-cream, and immediately I know that I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I feel Sam pull me onto his lap, and I rest my head on his shoulder while I feel Puck's hand on my knee and Brittany's head on my shoulder. Santana lays on the floor with her back resting on my legs and the others close by, and this is how I fall asleep, watching rom-coms and chick-flicks in the most comfortable position with sweets, ice cream, tea, and people even sweeter than all of that stuff. With them, I just forget all of the douchebag's in my life, and after on and off crying, I get a great sleep. Unfortunately, I don't think that will prepare me for seeing Finn and Quinn tomorrow at school…and I have a really bad feeling about it.


	4. Chapter 3: Lights Will Guide You Home

**Chapter 3: Lights Will Guide You Home**

**Hey guys! I'm back baby! I haven't had much writers block, but I will probably be there soon, so just enjoy while I am posting so often. Few short questions:**

**Who do you like better? Puck? Sam?**

**Do you want Quinn stay HBIC, or to apologize for what she did?**

**Should Shelby be involved as somewhere to live?**

**Thanks in advance to you if you answer. I can't really think of a way for Quinn to turn all nice all of the sudden, but if you have ideas, I'm pretty open to stuff like that so give it a shot. Also, I think I will use Shelby as someone who comes in to give Rachel a place to stay and gets to know her better. But I am DYING to know what you guys want for Sam VS. Puck. Personally, I want Sam because there are absolutely NO "samchel" stories, and they are one of my favorite couples. Also my other 2 stories are Puckleberry, so yeah. Anyways thanks for reviewing (YAY! I'm up to 7 now!)! Keep reading, enjoy **

**P.S. In this story the Cheerio's don't wear their uniforms to school**

**P.P.S. Special shout outs to **_**BigTimeGleekBTR, heancafan233, MyGeekSide – 101, sillystarshine, wisegirl5, KrissyBFF**_**.**

**Rachel's POV: In the morning**

I woke up at 9 o'clock in the morning with my best friends and I in a clump on the couch/floor of Sammy's room. He's so sweet to let me stay here. They are all sweet. I can't believe that they would do this for me, I mean Santana didn't forget ANYTHING when she called for Operation Rachel's Heart was Just Broken By Frankenteen (I call it ORHWJBBF for short). I'm so lucky to have them. It's Saturday morning, and even though they did all of this for me, I still feel like dying inside, I mean Finn and I were completely in love. I just don't see how he could think that I would be able to go on knowing all of that was fake. But you know the worst thing about cheating? The fact that you know they don't give a damn about you anymore because they don't love you anymore. That's the reason they cheated in the first place. Last night, when I asked Santana why people cheat, she simply responded, "Because it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. People that cheat don't think about anyone but themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be cheating". I couldn't have said it better, and even though that hurts, I'm sort of happy I found out what was going on when I did because I couldn't take knowing that it had been going on for too long, God what if it has been going on for a long time? I begin to break down crying for like the 8th time in 24 hours, waking everyone else up. They were obviously annoyed with me, but they tried not to show it because they knew how heartbroken I was. Have I mentioned how great my friends are?

**Santana's POV: In the morning**

I woke up to Rachel's sobs. She's probably thinking that I'm annoyed with her right now, but I couldn't be feeling worse for her, not myself. I mean, she's going through hell right now, and there really isn't much that I can do to help her other than… wait! I got it! Kurt and I and the rest of the divas are going to give her a new look, it's shopping spree time. What better way to say that she's over Frankenteen (a complete lie) than show everyone at school a whole new her. So that settles it, time to end this sad fest and take Rachel to the Lima Mall. I text Kurt my plan and he wakes up to help me, we have almost connected minds. It's gonna just have to be me, Britz, and Kurt because we don't want a big crowd of people with us, and obviously, we need to take the one's of us with the best fashion senses.

Kurt responds

**Satan, you're a genius grly! - Kurt**

**Why Kurtie, u ddnt hv 2 tell me, I alrdy nu tht - Santana**

**You know it gonna hv 2 b u me and Brtz rite? – Kurt**

**Duh – Santana**

And with that, Kurt and I were on to Phase 2 of ORHWJBBF (my evil secret plan)

"Ok guys wake up! We have a big day planned!" I said, waking everyone in the room up (not without a few groans from everybody). I couldn't blame them for being tired though, because Rachel had kept them up later than they were used to with all that had happened last night.

"Rachel, Brittany, Kurt, and I are gonna go shopping, kay? We will be back later with the new and improved Rachel. Trust us, Finn will do a double take on Monday!". For the first time since last night happened, Rachel gave me a sincere smile, and I couldn't help but smile just as big. It was shopping time!

**Rachel's POV: At Lima Mall**

I'm actually happy for the first time since Finn cheated on me. Right now, it's easy to get him off of my mind with all of the things that I have to focus on. Britz, Kurtie, and Tannie are going for a completely new look for me, and I couldn't be happier. It seems to be a combination of in-style (Kurt), crazy (Brittany), and extremely sexy (Santana), and I can't wait to show it off on Monday. After picking about 20 outfits and getting San's promise that we can come back if I start feeling bad tomorrow, we finally leave the mall and go to meet the others at the coffee shop.

**Santana's POV: Lima Mall**

I can't believe this. Rachel is ecstatic! She couldn't be happier to have us as her "fashion consultants" as she likes to put it. It turns out, Kurt + Brittany + Santana = AMAZING STYLE! I mean even I wouldn't have guessed that would happen, but it did, and I'm glad. We going to meet the others for coffee, and I know that now it is Sam and Puck's turn to cheer her up because they are her closest guy friends. She has to learn that not all guys are like that, or she'll never get over him. We also need to prank Quinn like a million times before she will be able to fall asleep tonight. I know that sounds immature, but that shit helps, I'm serious! Even though Rachel has been doing really well this morning, we all know this is just a mood swing. Of course, on one of the worst weeks of her life, she has her period giving her the worst mood swings I have ever seen. She is about to break down; I can feel it. We get to the coffee shop, and she sees Finn and Quinn all cuddled up like "love birds", and she absolutely LOSES IT! Fortunately for me, Sam and Puck volunteer to take this one, and I get a few minutes to relax and tell the others about the clothes we got for Ray's new look.

**Sam's POV: At the Coffee Shop**

I was simply waiting for Rachie and the others at the coffee shop. Suddenly, I heard this wailing, and I looked up to see Rach staring at Finn's obnoxious "love birds" status with Quinn in a nearby booth. Before anyone can say anything, I run up to get her.

Luckily, I made it just in time for her to stop sobbing so that Quinn and Finn couldn't have the joy of seeing her this way. I ran to her, scooped her into my arms bridal style and ran through the rain into my car. I sat her on my lap in the back seat and held her as she cried and cried and cried.

"Shhh! Don't cry…don't cry. He's not worth it Rachie. He doesn't deserve you at all." I say, trying to comfort her with no success.

"Sam nobody will ever love me! Finn didn't, and now people will think I'm a loser!" sobs Rachel, choking out the biggest lie she has ever uttered because I know for a fact that she has two "secret admirers" (we'll put it that way)

"Rachel, that is the biggest fucking lie I have ever heard!" I respond, and she doesn't even gasp at my language. I grab a water bottle and a Kleenex and wipe the tears from her face and wash it. She smiles and we walk out of the car arm in arm, just the way I want it to be everyday (_but she doesn't know that yet_, I think to myself)

**Brittany's POV: In her car**

"OK Rachie, I hate seeing you like this. We need to fix this somehow!" I say, throwing Rachel off of her guard. I think she's happy that someone's finally talking to her like she won't break with just words. She smiles at me and says, "well what do you think we should do Brit?"

I laugh, "I think you need a vacation! We have Spring Break next week, and my grandmother offered to let me stay at her beach house because she's going to see my uncle in New York. You and everybody else can come with me, and we will find you the hottest surfer dude in all of Amelia Island, FL!" I state, making Rachel giggle as she nods in agreement with me.

"So it's settled, we leave on Wednesday, the first day of Spring Break"

**P.S. Guys I think I'm gonna find a few days of the week that I want to post things. I'm thinking Monday, Thursday, and Saturday/Sunday. I think I will try to post 3 chapters a week on those specific days because they are my least busy ones. **

**Thanks for being patient, I know this story has taken a long time to be updated, but I do have two others that I am working on as well. TBH, I'm really feeling this one more, so I've been updating it a lot more than my others…whoops . Anyways, I hope to update on Thursday. **

**Thanks for being faithful fans you guys! cbell123**


	5. Chapter 4: The World Against Her

**Chapter 4: The World Against Her**

**So guys, I'm back. Haven't written in a while, I know, but I've been SO BUSY! Anyways, I've also had a little bit of writer's block, but after I write this, I'm gonna make an outline so that I know where I'm going, but I promised someone that I would write this first. Also I wanted to give a shout-out to FabrevansIsEndgame because she has been helping me write this story with her wonderful ideas. Sometimes it helps to have a different perspective. FabrevansIsEndgame joined my community (Gleeks101), and if you have any helpful ideas and are interested, send me a message or review this chapter, and I will send you the invite. I really could use some help, the ideas just get jumbled up in my head sometimes. Thanks guys for being faithful with your reviews as always. And with that note, here's the story:**

**Rachel's POV: School, Monday**

Oh my Lord, I'm freaking out! Today is the first day of school that I will be back, and Quinn has most definitely told everyone what happened. Fortunately, I have a few tricks up my sleeve as well. Santana, Britz, and Kurt have finished their makeover, and they came over today to make sure I looked perfect, but I could not be more nervous. I stayed over at Sammy's again with everyone, and it was great. Not having to go back "there" was really relieving, but their "business trip" is over now, and I have to face them tonight. Thank the Lord for makeup! It's 7:45 when Sam walks into the room of screaming girls to say that we need to leave now. We each grab a muffin for breakfast and run out of the door with our bags.

"San, I'm really nervous! What if no one likes my new look?" I say, just expressing what I have been thinking for the entire weekend. "Are you crazy Rachie? You look AMAZING! I would know, and that Finnessa is going to be wishing he wasn't a douche so that he could win you back Unfortunately for him, he is a douche, and he isn't getting you back." Santana says, calming my nerves in a way that only she can in times like these.

**Puck's POV: On the way to school**

Damn, Rachel looks smokin' today, whatever Satan, Kurt and Britz did to her worked. How she can be so damn fine and so insecure at the same time never ceases to amaze me. Sam and I had a little chat yesterday, and we agreed to make sure no one touches Rachel, like AT ALL! At least one of us is in every single one of her classes, so there is no way in hell anyone will get to her. As for Finn, he's getting a beating no matter what. That's the only time we're leaving Rachel all day, and even then, we made sure Satan would be there for protection, and let's face it, that girl is fricken scary! If only I knew a way to get Berry to be mine…she's so perfect, but lately she hasn't been herself even before this whole "Finn thing". God why does she even like Frankenteen in the first place? I mean he's fat, ugly, can't sing, worst QB ever…I'll never understand women.

I need to find a way to get her to notice me, but I have to do it at the right time, not to soon, but I can't wait for Sammy boy to come in and sweep her off of her feet. Now hold up, I know what you're thinking, Sam's my best friend, right? Right, but Berry changes me. I mean, she's turned me into her own bodyguard/secret admirer, and the Puckzilla doesn't do "secret" or "love" for that matter. This has got to stop, and soon.

**Sam's POV: School**

We walk into school and I can tell that Rachel's nervous. We've been friends for forever, and can read each other like open books. I put my arm on her shoulder, and give her a confident smile, and she smiles back at me largely. I know that smile. That smile means, finally something is going right, and I couldn't agree more. Now that Frankenteen the douche is out of the way, I can swoop in and grab Rachel as the damsel in distress. Don't get me wrong though, I don't like Rachel for beauty or popularity, or smarts, or for simply being cool. I like Rachel because she's Rachel. She's so beautiful and she doesn't even know it. She's hilarious but sensitive; she fits perfectly into my shoulder like she was meant to be there; she knows when to be strong and when to let her guard down; she knows how to make me laugh or smile on the worst of days; she's PERFECT and I love her with all of my heart. Now I just have to make her mine.

As we walk into school, we hear gasps. Even though Rachel usually wears her Cheerio's uniform, you don't have to. Today, with the help of Santana, Kurt, Brittany, and some other little assistants, Rachel was finally dressed. And damn, she looked HOT!

They had dressed her in a strapless hot pink dress that was really short. On top of that was a black leather jacket and a cheetah print scarf. She had on aviators, a simple ring, and black pumps that made her legs look a mile long. She was carrying a pink clutch that matched the color of her dress and a smile that was longer than her perfect legs, but the best part of the outfit was that it seemed to give her security with her body. She was literally radiating confidence and light. God, I needed her to be mine.

**Rachel's POV: At School**

The second I walked into the door of the high school, I heard gasps and whispers. Everyone was shocked to see that I wasn't wearing my Cheerio's uniform like I usually do for security, but a new outfit that hugged all of my curves and shoes that made my legs look surprisingly long. I can't tell you how many winks I got from guys and whistles, and I couldn't help but think most of their eyes were on my ass; it didn't matter though because Rachel Berry was back and better than ever WITHOUT Finn Hudson (aka The Douche Mister). I walked to my locker and found Finn waiting there for me. Let the torture begin.

"Hey baby" he said. Really! Hey baby! That's the best he could do as the first thing he said to me after me catching him having SEX with my WORST ENEMY. Douche.

"Don't talk to me" I said nonchalantly, not about to lose my temper in front of him…at least not yet. "And why wouldn't you talk to your boyfriend, babe?" he said, acting as if NOTHING had happened. "I don't see my boyfriend. The only thing I see is a desperate douchebag." I replied, keeping cool the entire time. HBIC was back baby, and this time she was stronger and single.

"Ouch…that hurts Rachie. Since when am I not your boyfriend?" he said still playing the whole I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about-but-I-can-ASSure-you-that-I'm-completley-innocent act. Who does he think he is. "Oh and by the way, great new look. You look hot babe." He said, trying to get me to forget why I was mad in the first place, but that would never work because I would never forget how Finn Hudson cheated on me!

"Hmmm, let's see, what could you have done lately that could've upset me? It couldn't have been the fact that you cheated on me with Preggers over there, could it?" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Look Rachel. I don't care if you like it or not, but we are going to date, and you are going to pretend you do", he said grabbing my arm with a force that I had never felt from him before. "Let go of me Frankenteen. I don't love you, I never did. Leave me alone." I say, right as Sam and Puck are walking out of the bathroom next to my locker.

"Excuse me, douche! Did you just threaten my best friend?" Sam says, with protectiveness that I have never seen from him before. He shoves Finn off of me.

"I think he did Sammy boy, I think he did!" says Puck in a similar tone. "You know, we were already gonna give you a beating today, but it looks like Christmas is coming early for you" he continued, punching Finn in the face, followed quickly by Sam.

Soon a crowd had gathered watching the fight that Finn was clearly losing. I was standing there still shocked by Finn's threat when I felt something cold tossed down my back from behind before tasting the cold grape substance. I shivered, turning around to see the face of none other than Quinn Fabray (aka Bitch Who Stole My Boyfriend). Before I can even react, Santana emerges from the crowd, all the while screaming in Spanish.

"¿Qué diablos crees que estás haciendo? Usted es una perra estúpida que a nadie le gusta. Do you have a heart. First you sleep with her boyfriend, and then you slushie her? What the fuck is wrong with you Preggers?" she says right before she knocks her to the floor. Kurt and Tina rugh up to me to take me to the bathroom. Luckily, I brought a change of clothes just in case people didn't like what I was wearing, and it was AMAZING too!

I put on a top with thick red and white stipes that I had tucked into a short, tight, black leather skirt. I had black ankle booties and a black boyfriend blazer. I accesorized with a ring, a matching red clutch, and the aviators again. Luckily, Kurt kept a hair dryer and curling iron in his locker (who knew why), and I was completly fixed up in about 10 minutes, barely making it to class on time, holding onto Sam's arm the entire way. I was still a little freaked out about Finn's threat, but I had Heard that Sam and Puck had beaten the shit out of him. I had also Heard that Santana had pulled out Quinn's new hair extensions with no intensión of giving them back. I was so lucky to have the perfect friends on my side when the world just wasn't.

**Anyways, I hope you liked it. Please review with any criticism/comments. I want to hear:**

**Favorite part**

**Least favorite part**

**Puckleberry/EvanBerry?**

**Quinn: Nice or Evil?**

**Just so you know, Finn is going to be evil in this story in case you were wondering. The only people who don't like Rachel are Finn and Quinn because everyone else in Glee club hates Finn and Quinn and therefore loves Rachel. Thanks for Reading …cbell123**


	6. Chapter 5: Concrete Angel

**Chapter 5: Concrete Angel**

**Hey guys! I'm back baby. Sorry, I sort of wrote the last chapter but forgot to post it…whoops. Anyways guys, I've finished this chapter and done an outline of the next 4 chapters, so the writing will be a LOT FASTER now that I know sort of where my story is going! Thanks again for all of the reviews…I'm up to 11 now guys but please write more!**

**I'd like to give a shoutout to FabrevansIsEndgame. I know I've talked about her before, but she has been helping me with ideas for the longterm view of the story, and a lot what you are going to see is coming from her so THANK YOU! Now back to the show:**

**Rachel's POV: Back at Home**

I pulled my car into my house. Most people would say home...not me. Have you ever seen the movie Beauty and the Beast? There's this song called Home is Where the Heart Is, and my heart is so far from here. I used to think that when I was little no one loved me. I'm past that now. I mean you could take one look at my wonderful friends and know that I was completely loved by so many wonderful souls. However, none of those "wonderful souls" were my parents. My dads wanted a kid, so they had a surrogate mother carry their child for them. They were so happy to see their beautiful baby girl that they had another. But when their beautiful baby girl (not me, the first one) died of pneumonia, they were never the same. They never loved the second baby the same. They got into alcohol and drugs, and they didn't know how to handle the loss. At first they just ignored me. I was out of their way, and they were out of mine for the most part. But then the alcohol got worse. Everything changed. They took their anger for the harsh world they were thrown into out on their helpless 10 year old daughter. No one in the entire world ever knew about my dads...until I was 13. My best friend's name was Katie. She was perfect, an angel from God. She was funny and sweet and most of all understanding. I told her about everything. She comforted me, bought a First-Aid kit to heal my wounds, and told me that I would make it through, that everything would get better for me and my dads. But she was only 13, and she didn't know what she was getting into. I had her over to my house once. We thought that my dads were gone, and she had been there before in scenarios like this before. It wasn't really anything new to her or me. Except for the fact that my dads got home early...then it was way different. My dads told her to go home and started to beat me after they thought she was gone. But Katie was a loyal friend, and she stood up for me. The last thing I remember was her being beaten, and when I woke up, she was dead. My dads had left again, and I ran out of the house crying. I never told anyone after that, not wanting anyone else to risk their lives for my sake. I could take a beating after 7 years of having them everyday. I became hidden from everyone who tried to get close to me, and I learned how to wear foundation to cover up my scars and bruises so no one would find out what I had kept hidden so well. The only people I came close to telling were Sam, Puck, and Santana, but I loved them too much to say anything.

I stepped into the house hoping and praying that they would be up in their room doing "stuff". Even though the thought made me shiver, it was better than the beating they would give me for not being here to be their personal dummy for a week. Unfortunately, as usual, no one answered my prayers.

"Rachel! Finally decided to show your face around here, didn't you now? We didn't raise someone who ran from her fears, did we now honey?" one of my dads said, an evil smile forming on his lips, his breath intoxicating the entire house with alcohol and crack. "No Sethie, we didn't do that at all. This one was a fail." he said, with the same look and smell on his creepy little face. This is why I stopped believing in God a long time ago, because no matter how long I had prayed for him to do something about me being scared to walk into my own home, nothing happened. I finally came to the realization that no one was even listening to all of the sweat and tears I had poured into those prayers. I had thought that maybe I was saying the wrong thing or that I wasn't pretty or popular enough. I know that sounds a little crazy, but I didn't have parents to tell me what was right or wrong when I was growing up, only my common sense and nonreligious public school.

"We'll just have to make up for lost time then, huh?" I saw the punch before I felt it. I crumbled to the ground, only to fall into a deep restless sleep.

**Santana's POV: Tuesday Morning**

I went to pick Rachel up for school. It's Monday morning, and Sam and Puck had to be there early for a football meeting. They had asked me to drive Rachel to school, and, of course, I had said yes. Rachel is my best friend, and I would do anything for her because I know that she would do the same for me. When I pulled up to Rachel's house, she wasn't sipping coffee on her porch like she usually was. That's a little weird, oh well, maybe she's running late. Wait, she's never running late. I should probably go inside. After 2 more minute of waiting outside, I decided to go into the house. But nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see inside of that awful house.

I stepped into the house. I had never really been inside. Rachel hated her fathers and her house. She always spent time everywhere else. She did her homework at the library, and only went home to sleep. I stepped inside and everything was dark. That's weird. I turned on the lights and screamed. What I saw was the last thing I expected. Rachel was lying on the floor like a lifeless doll, with cuts and bruises and scars everywhere. I ran to her and did the only thing I knew to do. I felt for a pulse. It was there, but it was really light.

I called Puck because I knew he and Sam would know what to do with her, they always did.

"Puck! Puck! Please answer! Puck!" I screamed into the phone, pure horror in my voice. "What is it Santana? What's wrong?" he questioned me, wanting to know what was going on, obviously hearing the terror in my voice. "It's Rachel. She's lying here almost lifeless. I felt for a pulse, and it was really weak. I'm trying to get her into the car. She looks like she was beaten up in her own home. There's no sign of her fathers." I choke into the phone, struggling to get the words out. Then I notice something on the refridgerator.

_Brat -_

_We hate you. I think you know that. We've decided to finally leave you. You are just wasting our precious money. We could be using it on crack and alcohol, you know. Hope someone finds you because we did a lot of damage. Have a nice life, idiot._

_Your not loved,_

_Seth and Jack_

I read the note, and the tears started to fall from my eyes. Her own parents did this to her. They were alcoholics, and she must've been too scared to tell us. That poor child.

"Santana! Santana are you crying?" Puck yells into the phone shaking me from my deep thoughts. "Yeah Puck. I-it w-w-was her d-dads. T-they did th-this to h-her. They l-l-left her a n-note saying th-they l-left and w-weren't c-coming back e-ever. Puck meet m-me at the h-hospital. P-please, she n-needs you and S-Sam!" I sob into the phone. Then I look back at Rachel and think of her determination and endurance, and I say somewhat stronger "I need to go. We have to get her to the hospital, she might not make it". I hang up the phone, and pick Rachel up bridal style and carry her to the car. I have to be strong for her.

Once we arrive at the hospital, everything is a blur. I remembered to grab the note on the way out, and I showed that to them so that some of the nurses could call the police. They told me that she was going to have to have surgery to fix her ribs.

By now, Puck and Sam have arrived, and before I even know what is going on, I'm crying in their arms, completely awestruck that my best friend has been going through this for years. She must've been so strong, she never told anyone about was she was going through, she just held it all in. I can't believe she never went to the police. Maybe she didn't want to go to foster care.

"Santana Lopez" the nurse's voice shakes me out of my thoughts for the second time that day. "Yes, that's me" I respond, eager to know if she has made progress. "Santana, Rachel is responding beautifully to the surgery. Her ribs are mending perfectly, like she's been waiting to have the surgery for years. Well, maybe she has. Anyways, she's ready for one visitor. Normally this would be a parent, but it looks like you're taking that place right now. I want you to just talk to her, that might help her wake up from her deep sleep, OK?" the nurse says calmly, her steady voice pouring honey down my throat. "Would it be alright if I sang to her? She loves music." I state. "That would be perfect." the nurse says, sweetly smiling at me, as if she knew exactly what I was going through. "If the police call, please tell them to talk to Noah Puckerman and Samuel Evans." I say, making sure to keep tabs on everything. "Of course!" the nurse says turning back around to send me another smile. "Thanks" I responded before taking a deep breath and stepping into the white hospital room to see my best friend lying helpless on a white bed. She looked 10 times better than she had when I found her, but that wasn't saying much. A song popped into my head, and I thought it was perfect for the situation, so I started to sing to her.

_She walks to school with the lunch she packed_

_Nobody knows what she's holdin' back_

_Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday_

_She hides the bruises with linen and lace_

I can't help it. The tears start to roll down my face. We never saw her bruises, and we never questioned her large amounts of foundation, but without the makeup, they were clear, purple, and blue. She looked broken

_The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask_

_It's hard to see the pain behind the mask_

_Bearing the burden of a secret storm_

_Sometimes she wishes she was never born_

I grab her hand and squeeze. I need her to wake up, I need her to know that she's gonna be OK, and I need her to know that they are gone forever.

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

_Somebody cries in the middle of the night_

_The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights_

_A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate_

_When morning comes it'll be too late_

This one verse shocks me the most as the words are coming out of my mouth. I never even thought about what they meant. If I hadn't reached Rachel in time, she could be dead right now, and she must've screamed for help from the neighbors. People can be so cruel.

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

_A statue stands in a shaded place_

_An angel girl with an upturned face_

_A name is written on a polished rock_

_A broken heart that the world forgot_

And before I even notice, I'm wrapped in her arms, balling, but I force myself to finish the song. I feel like I need to sing it, for Rachel's sake. That I'm what's keeping her alive.

_Through the wind and the rain_

_She stands hard as a stone_

_In a world that she can't rise above_

_But her dreams give her wings_

_And she flies to a place where she's loved_

_Concrete angel_

And that's when I crack. I start sobbing hysterically, and before it, Puck is holding me and rubbing my hair, calming me while I am no where near keeping it cool, but I have lost every ounce of care in this world for anything other than Rachel. Before I know it, I'm asleep in his arms, safe from every pain in the world.

**Rachel's POV:**

I woke up in the least likely place I had expected. When I opened my eyes, I saw white. White walls, white sheets, white beds, and white people. As my vision clears, I realize that Santana is singing to me. I hear the words, and I remember singing them plenty of times, late at school in the choir room. The song is _For the Love of a Daughter_ by Demi Lovato. Thinking about the pain I feel from my fathers. You would think that it hurts physically, but the worst part is that you aren't loved by the people that actually made you. When Santana sees me her face breaks out in a smile, and tears of joy start to stream down her cheeks. She holds me, and I feel safe in the arms of my best friend.

**Sam's POV: Waiting Room**

"Samuel Evans and Noah Puckerman" a cop calls, and I know they have some new about Rachel's fathers. Right now, I think they should be dead. They are good-for-nothing douchebags, and they don't deserve life. But I control my anger and stand up. "That's us" I say sturdily with just a catch of pure hatred in my voice.

"We found them, come right this way. We don't want Rachel to see her dads because it might cause her emotional trauma, but we feel as though you probably deserve to give them a piece of your mind." he says giving me a nod signaling me and Puck to follow him.

When we reach her fathers, they tell me the last thing I expect to hear from them. "Go away. We have nothing to say to her. We hate Rachel, and you guys are probably her friends. We regret nothing we did, she's a piece of worthless shit." one of the men says, and before the other one can even open his mouth, I lose it. "YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT SOMETHING AS BEAUTIFUL AS RACHEL CAME FROM YOU TWO SHITTY DOUCHEBAGS. MUST HAVE BEEN HER MOTHER, BECAUSE THERE IS NONE OF YOU IN HER. YOU ARE DIRT TO HER. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED THAT YOU RUINED HER CHILDHOOD. DO YOU KNOW THAT THE CYCHIATRISTS SAY THAT SHE WILL PROBABLY HAVE TRUST ISSUES FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH ME YELLING AT YOU RIGHT NOW. GO TO HELL!" I scream at them punching the wall before heading out of the wall. I'm glad Puck isn't here because he would've blown up even more than I did. He stayed at the hospital with Santana because she is a mess. I mean, yeah, we all are, but she's been really emotional from actually finding Rachel. I can't even imagine being there. She's a strong girl, that Santana.

**Santana's POV: At the Hospital**

I've been a mess lately. Luckily, Puck has been there for me as a crying shoulder like the softie he really is under his whole badass image. Rachel is doing great, and they say she will be out of the hospital in time to be back before the end of Spring Break. The trip with Brittany was cancelled obviously because one of the people going was hospitalized, and everyone's been AMAZING about visiting her as much as they can, which is a lot because there's no school.

I've been thinking a lot about where Rachel will stay. Sam told me about what happened with him and Rachel's dads. It was bad, and she will not go anywhere near them. I've talked to my mom, and she agreed that was staying with us and absolutely nowhere else and that was that. I'm gonna tell her right now, and I hope she's excited.

I walk into her room a little nervous, but it all goes away when I see her face, she always calms me down instantaneously. "Rachie" I say softly and she turns away from the TV to look at me. "Hey" she says as if everything were normal, and I'm reminded of why we're best friends. "Hey Rachie! Listen I have to tell you something." I say. I take a deep breath and spit it out, "Rachel, you're moving in with me" I say, and she goes ballistic. "Oh my god Santana! That's AMAZING! We are gonna be real sisters now, not just like besties sisters! YAY! OMG I always knew this day would come." she screams in that happy-go-lucky way of hers. Then she pauses, "wait, are you sure your mom is OK with this? I don't want to intrude!". "Of course Rachie! When I told her what happened, she said that you weren't allowed to go anywhere else! She went crazy making arrangements. You are going to use Sadie's old room." My older sister went off to college last year, and we have an extra room in the house now. We irrupt into a fit of giggles and squeals thinking of the endless nights of sleepovers to come from living together as sisters! For the first time since Tuesday morning, I feel truly happy.

**Okay guys, I hope you liked it! I'm gonna try to write the next one tomorrow, but that might not happen because I really want to update Holding Grudges. Anyways, I will probably have it up by Sunday afternoon (if you review, wink wink). PLEASE REVIEW guys. Thanks for reading **


	7. Chapt 6: If You Asked Me If I Loved Her

**Chapter ****7: If You Asked Me If I Loved Him**

**Hey guys! I'm back again Sorry but I haven't really been in the right mood for writing lately, and I have to want to write for it to be good. I hope you like this chapter though, it's really long. I might not post for a while because I'm going on Spring Break soon and I want to continue with my other story **_**Holding Grudges**_** because I haven't written it in a while. Thanks for being patient! PS if you haven't caught on yet, I've decided to start naming the chapters after lyrics in songs or even song titles. This one is named after a song used in it, **_**I'd Lie**_** by Taylor Swift. Enjoy **

**Rachel's POV: At the Hospital**

It's Friday afternoon, and I'm getting released from the hospital. I could NOT be happier right now. First of all, I'm going to a house that I'm hoping to soon call home, somewhere I've never been before. Secondly, I get to live with my best friend. Who in hell would pass that up? Not this girl, I can tell you that. I CANNOT WAIT to get out of this place. The hospital is so boring. Yeah sure, Santana comes to visit, but for the first few days, she just cried and sang songs. She's finally getting back to the way she used to be. Speaking of Satan, she walks in the room, finally wearing something other than the endless pairs of sweatpants I've seen from her, and I smile.

"Hey girlie! Can we finally leave this hellhole?" I say desperate to get away from White World (my new nickname for this room). She laughs because I never usually cuss, and she thinks it's hilarious. "Yes, we just checked you out, and I brought you some clothes so you don't have to wear that piece of shit all of the way home." she responds. And now I'm the one laughing at the fact that she remembered that, but she didn't get me any food. "Now I know that you think I forgot food, but I thought we could grab something on the way home. I didn't really know what you were in the mood for." she says before I can open my mouth. "You are the BEST friend ever!" I say, and we laugh together. Oh how I've missed my Santana.

Of course, the outfit Santana gave me is a plain white shirt that tucks into a pleated pinkish red skirt. Then I have a light pink blazer to go over my now bare shoulders. She accessorized with nude pumps, a clutch that matches my skirt and sunglasses (because she knows that I hate it when the sun gets in my eyes). I love my new look, because I still get to wear my skirts, and my look is still preppy, but now it's more mature thanks to Brittany and Kurt, and extremely sexy (thank YOU Santana). We get into her car which is a red convertible (yes, her parents are loaded!) and drive to her house, picking up Chick-Fil-A on the way home because she knows I need comfort food without me even saying anything. Oh how I love Santana.

When we get to her house, I look up at the familiar structure in front of me, proud to call it home finally. It's always been my second home (or maybe my first one actually). But what was unfamiliar to me was what Santana introduced to me as my room. It was painted a white, but it was far from PLAIN! The king sized bed (yes king sized!) was backed up against a wall with decorative bubble stickers in pink and orange colors. The comforter itself was large pink, orange, and red flowers over a white canvas. On the wall next to the bed, there were modernized cubbies cut into the wall painted pink, filled with books, and supplies, and everything else I could possibly need. Then on the next wall was a large, fluffy white bean bag because Santana knew that I loved to read (hey everybody has a nerdy side!) topped with a small pink pillow. And then there was my desk. It was filled with every school supplies you could imagine from pencils to staplers to tape, and there was a matching pink chair on a piece of wooden floor where the shaggy white carpet had been removed so that the chair could slide. On the wall behind the desk was a bulletin board filled with endless pictures of Santana and I, funny, sweet and everything in between. She had set my school books on the desk next to a brand new Mac Book Pro! Then on the white ceilings, large white Japanese lanterns hung from chains beautifully. But my favorite part of the room was the large stereo sitting next to a beautiful guitar signed by none other than the New Directions glee club. I laughed out loud when I saw Santana's signature

_For my crazy bitch bestie, Rachie!_

_Love, Santana (the other crazy ass bitch)_

Before I knew it, tears of joy were streaming down my face as I looked around at my new HOME! For the first time in my entire life, I felt completely safe and at home, and that was a lot for me. "Thank you so much Santana! You have no idea how much this means to me. You know, I was sleeping on a mattress in the attic in my old house. I've never had a "home" before. You know, my babysitter used to tell me, "_home is where the heart is!"_. Sannie! This is where my heart is! I love you so much!" I said, the tears still streaming uncontrollably down my face." she laughed and started crying with me. "I love you too Rachie, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world." she said, and we sat on my bed weeping into each other's arms for a while.

Finally Santana said, "So since we could only find a few outfits in your old house, it's time to fill your walk in closet with clothes. Kurt, Britz and I already started, but we figured you might want to help for the last little bit, considering you'll be wearing the clothes" she said and with that, I grabbed my bag and ran out the door, chasing after her, happier than I have ever been in my entire life! :)

**Santana's POV: At Her House**

I'm kind of bored because I've gotten used to having Rachel here all of the time, but she went over to Sam's to play some COD because I don't own it (don't be mean, I don't have any siblings). I'm sitting at my windowsill when I see Puck's truck pull up. All of the sudden, I get really excited. Maybe he came to ask me out, I mean he knows that Rachel's gone, so he must've come to see me.

I was right, but not in the way I wanted to be.

As Puck knocks on the door, I take no time answering it. I pretend to act nonchalant about him being here, but really, I'm SCREAMING ON THE INSIDE because I think I might be in love with him. He was just so perfect when Rachel was in surgery. He held me and comforted me, and that's what I really need in a guy...protection. Puck is that kind of guy for me.

"Hey Santana, can I talk to you for a sec." he says, looking kind of nervous.

"Sure Puck, let's go up to my room" I respond, hiding the excitement in my voice for what I think he will say to me. But this is not the first time I have been wrong, and it probably isn't the last either.

"Ok, I'm just going to spit it out." he says, gaining the courage he needs, "I think that I'm in love with" crossing my fingers, "Rachel". My heart absolutely drops. I have never felt like such an idiot. I mean, what was I thinking. What would a guy like Puck see in a girl like me. I'm such a loser.

"OK, and you're telling me this because" I say, not even trying to hide the annoyance in my voice. I can't believe I though he actually liked my, only to find out he "thinks he loves Rachel". UGH! Her of all people. I mean she's literally at another guy (who just so happens to be in love with her also) AS WE SPEAK! I mean, I love her, but really!

"Sorry, this is kind of weird, but you're her best friend. I was wondering if you could give me some advice as to how to get her to see me as a guy and not just a friend." he says, a little upset with Santana's tone.

"What am I, the love guru? I don't know, just sing her a song or something" I respond colder than I wanted to, but can you blame me? I mean he just broke my heart and he doesn't even know!

"Oh! That's a great idea Santana, thanks!" he responds excitedly, grabbing me for a hug which I accept graciously. Now if only I could give myself some advice…

**Puck's POV: At school, Monday morning**

I walk into school Monday morning with unexpected confidence. I make it through the day, and its finally Glee time. Before I walk into the classroom, I meet Rachel at her locker.

"Hey Rachie!" I say to her in a happy tone. "Hey Noah! What's up?" she responds coolly in a calm and collected tone; she has no idea what I'm about to do.

"Um, can we talk?" I say, getting a little nervous now that it's actually happening. "We are talking Noah!" she says jokingly. I laugh nervously, "I, um, I-I think I love you Rachel, as more than a friend." I choke out, not as smoothly as I would have liked, but at least I got the words out without dying. She opens her shocked mouth to say something, but I stop her. "Don't say anything yet, I have a song for you, just wait" I say, winking with the confidence that I had gained out of the blue. She smiles and I run into class grabbing my guitar with a huge smile on my face. I look at everyone in the room. Everyone looks like they usually do. Brittany and Kurt are talking. Mercedes and Tina are whispering gossip to each other, thinking that no one knows what's going on, but we do. Sam and Mike are in a heated discussion about football, and Finn and Quinn are giving each other shitty goo-goo eyes, so FAKE! The only people who look different are Rachel and Santana. Rachel looks nervous but calm at the same time. She has thinking look on her face, like she's debating with herself. But Santana looks like she's going to throw up in a second. She's never like this...like EVER! She is ALWAYS calm and collected sitting and talking to Rachel, but the second she saw me pick up my guitar, she got that look on her face….I wonder what that's all about.

Ignoring her expressions, I ask if I can sing a song.

"The person who this is dedicated to knows who she is." Sam stiffens as he realizes what's going on, and I know why. But I just have to go for it now that I've said and done what I have. So I do the only thing I can think of; I start singing.

_I don't think that passenger seat_

_Has ever looked this good to me_

_He tells me about his night_

_And I count the colors in his eyes_

_He'll never fall in love he swears_

_As he runs his fingers through his hair_

_I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong_

_I don't think it ever crossed his mind_

_He tells a joke I fake a smile_

_That I know all his favorite songs_

_And.._

I drop my guitar, grab Rachel, and we start to dance. She laughs and goes along with it.

_I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him,_

_I'd lie_

I twirl her around and dip her and she looks like she's in heaven… I know I am.

_He looks around the room_

_Innocently overlooks the truth_

_Shouldn't a light go on?_

_Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?_

_He sees everything black and white_

_Never let nobody see him cry_

_I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

And with that, everyone else in the room grabs a partner and starts to dance beside us, but I can only see Rachel. God, she's so beautiful.

_I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth_

_His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him,_

_I'd lie_

_He stands there then walks away_

_My god if I could only say_

_I'm holding every breath for you..._

_He'd never tell you but he can play guitar_

_I think he can see through everything_

_But my heart_

_First thought when I wake up is_

_My god he's beautiful_

_So I put on my make up_

_And pray for a miracle_

We just stay like that for a while, laughing and dancing and smiling. And I couldn't be happier with that.

_Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue oh and it kills me_

_His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes_

_And if you asked me if I love him_

_If you asked me if I love him_

_I'd lie_

And with that, I dip her, lean down, and kiss her like I mean it...because I do. She smiles into the kiss before our tongues dance together, but I don't feel fireworks. It's probably just because I just had the time of my life doing that song with her, but I still find it weird.

"Rachel **LOPEZ**", I say, shocking some of the other members. Rachel smiles as I continue, "will you be my girlfriend!" I say confidently.

"It would be an honor" she replies, and our tongues begin to dance again.

**And that's the end. Stay tuned. I put some handy-dandy foreshadowing in this one, I hope you liked it. I won't be writing for at least 2 more weeks, so don't get mad at me. Also please review. Thanks again to FabrevansIsEndgame for being awesome and helping me. A lot of this is her ideas combined with my ninja writing skills. Please also check out my other story, **_**Holding Grudges. **_**Anyways, hope you liked it! cbell123**


	8. Chapter 7: All I Wanted

**Hey guys****…****I****'****m back. I****'****m so sorry that it****'****s been like forever, but I****'****ve been really busy lately. I had a musical that I was in, and then a bunch of tests and quizzes and it was like, ****"****Is the world **_**trying**_** to kill me or something?****"****. But I made it through. Even though this chapter****'****s a little short, it really touches up on the relationship between Santana and her mother Valerie. Enjoy: **

**Song Used is All I Wanted by Paramore**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I own the plot and Rachel****'****s dads.**

**Santana's POV: Monday night**

I can't sleep. I'm way overthinking everything, and frankly, I'm not even being a selfish bitch as usual…I am just being a weak, heartbroken, vulnerable girl because that's exactly what I am right now. And it is all thanks to Puck and Rachel, and neither of them knows how much pain they are causing me right now. They are so enveloped in each other and their "perfect" relationship to even notice. And I am happy for Rachel—really I am. She's my best friend, and like a sister to me, but FUCK I think I love Puck, and he doesn't even know how I feel in the slightest.

I realize that lying in bed is doing nothing for me because of the way my mind is moving a thousand miles per hour right now, there is no way I am going to sleep. So that's how I end up in the kitchen with my mom, Valerie, talking about everything.

**Valerie's POV: Monday Night**

I can't sleep. I've been contemplating that ever since she got here. I probably should fill you in before I start ranting like an idiot…I'm really considering adopting Rachel, but there are so many complications. First, I want to make sure that San is okay with it. Then we have to figure out the court situation with Rachel's fathers and how the custody is going to work. This has actually been going better than I thought it would. Obviously because I am one of Lima's most successful lawyers, I understand what is going on with the case, which actually helps a ton. I know that Rachel can either file for emancipation, adoption, or foster care.

Emancipation means that she would have to work out things on her own. She would still live with us and everything, but she would always be working out decisions and bills and medical issues. Obviously this is the most difficult option, but it does have independence, which is always beneficial. If we adopt her, things would basically be like how they are now, except she would get to change her name if she wanted to and all of the other small details. This is the option that I feel would be the most beneficial for all of us, but I'm not so sure yet. Then there is foster care, which is where she is now, so that isn't one of her options; that's for different cases that don't have adoptions waiting to happen.

With my mind running as fast as possible, I decide that it's pointless for me to be lying in bed trying to sleep when that's the last thing that I would dream of doing right now.

So that's how I end up in the kitchen with my daughter Santana, listening to her spill _everything_.

**Santana's POV: Monday Night**

You know, I really feel bad for those of you who aren't close with their moms because I don't know how I could live without being able to share anything with her. Most people would think that because I'm so very badass and such that I wouldn't want my mom to know what was going on in my life, but it was quite the opposite in my family. Instead of being worried for my safety, my mom _encouraged_ me to be wild and have fun (she's actually sane enough to remember high school) knowing that I have friends that will take care of me. Instead of being mad that I'm not exactly a virgin (far from it actually), being the forgiving (and understanding) Christian woman that she is, she was delighted to know that we were close enough to talk about those kind of things. And she'd used it as an opening to make sure that she knew I was being safe. Which is exactly why I just had to tell her exactly what was going on in my not-so-existent love life at the moment.

I just spilled. I told her about how nice and protective Puck was in the hospital. How understanding he was when she soaked his shirt with her tears; being emotionally unstable from seeing her friend near death. How gently he had wrapped his strong arm around her, told her that he was there and that everything was okay. How he had spoken so softly when he said that he'd keep her and Rachel safe. How she actually believed everything he had said; hanging onto any hope she could get, even when it was coming from the most unlikely source she had ever imagined.

And that was when her mother said it. She knew it was coming, she was just so afraid to admit it. She had one of those personalities that just made her a "pineapple", as her mother liked to call it. She had a hard shell and was hard on herself. She refused to show any weakness, and falling in love was exactly that kind of situation.

So when her mother said, "To me, it looks like my dear pineapple has been cut in half. _Mihija_, that's love." She confirmed my emotions, as she always seemed to be able to—even in the toughest of situations.

"I know, _Mamà_, it's just that the thing that makes me so mad is the fact that she's not acting like a _puta_, you know, so I have no right to hate her. In fact, I love her; she's my sister, you know?" I choke out.

"You know, _Mihija_, speaking of Rachel. You are right not to hate her, of course, but about that sister thing. I was kind of wondering how you felt about that. I'd really think that we should adopt Rachel. I mean, she's already living with us and if we don't adopt her then she'll have to file for emancipation—which is going to be really hard on her. And that's not including the fact that her fathers will make her feel like shit the entire way. I mean, you already think of her as a sister, so what do you say?" she says, and the breath that I had been holding in comes out easily.

"It's exactly what she and I need. She needs legal help and I need a sister to help me get over a certain guy that I've been fawning over for much too long," I say, a sudden burst of confidence comes out with pure happiness of having a best friend, a roommate, and a sister all in one.

"_Mihija_, it's been less than a week!" she laughs, and I laugh along with her.

"I'm very aware of the time, _Mamà_, speaking of time, it's one sixteen in the morning, and I need my beauty sleep. I can finally sleep now that I've talked about this, Thanks, _Mamà_, I needed to let it out," I say, loving the fact that I can just talk to my mom whenever I want.

Then the feeling is washing away as the familiar feeling of guilt washes over me when I realize that Rachel has never once had this. Without thinking about anyone but my soon-to-be sister, I ask, "Hey, Mom, can you maybe talk to Rachel like this some time. I just realized that she never had this, and I don't think I could have gone through high school without you, _Mamà_." She just smiles knowingly and nods. She is one of the only people who is constantly seeing the good side of me, the one that isn't a bitch at all—just plain Santana.

I walk up to the stairs, knowing a perfectly good night's sleep is waiting for me, with a song burning through my head. I decide to use it to sing myself to sleep, knowing I won't drift away until I get it out of my system.

_Think of me when you're out_

_When you're out there_

_I'll beg you nice from my knees_

_And when the world treats you way too fairly_

_Well it's a shame I'm a dream_

She might actually enjoy the song, if it wasn't so depressingly true about her life.

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_I think I'll pace my apartment a few times_

_And fall asleep on the couch_

_Wake up early, the black and white re-runs_

_That escape from my mouth, oh_

She could feel herself starting to feel better about everything, singing softly about how she felt about Puck and Rachel. That's all she wanted, but she didn't get it.

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_I could follow you to the beginning_

_Just to relive the start_

_Maybe then we'd remember to slow down_

_At all of our favorite parts_

She can feel herself drift to sleep, but she manages the last few lyrics before her body falls into a long awaited, deep slumber.

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

_All I wanted was you_

And then she's asleep.

**So did you like it? Please review and whatnot. Tell me what you liked****…****didn****'****t like****…****want to see in the next chapters.**

**P.S. I am not against Brittana, in fact I think they are ADORABLE, but because of the way that the plot turned out in this story, they just aren****'****t going to be possible. Sorry if that offends you because I really do love them and have them in my other stories, it****'****s just that with the way that the couples worked out, I had to tweak some things, so I think it will be Brittany/Artie, Mike/Tina, Finn/Quinn, Kurt/Blaine, and a surprise for what happens in the ever-present love square that is Sam/Santana/Puck/Rachel. I think that next chapter there will be a lot more of Sam and maybe Sam and Rachel together because you guys haven****'****t seen much of him yet. Please review. I****'****d like to give a big thanks to all of my readers, FabrevansIsEndgame for helping me with the plot, my faithful reviewers (fuel to my ninja writing skills), and MissBreePhoenix my AMAZING beta reader who is new, so that now my grammar won****'****t suck like normal. Enjoy and review **

**Love,**

**Caroline**


	9. Chapter 8: Nothin' At All

**Chapter 8: He Could Be the One**

**Hey guys, it****'****s me again! I****'****m extremely sorry that I haven****'****t exactly been faithful, but I just haven****'****t been in the mood for writing. But I will warn you that I am in the mood to write now, and to get rid of my writer****'****s block, I have brought out the big guns. Yes, I know what you are thinking****…****what are the big guns? Iced tea and corn bread. They work wonders on a person****'****s writing state! Also, I had a lot of comments about EvanBerry. Do NOT worry, they will come in soon! Like REALLY SOON****…****maybe even this chapter (if your lucky) Well, with no further ado****…****here****'****s chapter 7.**

**Rachel****'****s POV: Morning, Lopez house**

I walk down the stairs at precisely 7:25 am. Rachel Berry is never late…oh sorry I mean Rachel Lopez. I know I haven't actually been adopted, and I don't even know if the Lopez's want to adopt me, but I can't go by the name of my fathers. I just want to forget them and cut all ties I have to them.

As I step into the kitchen, I see a very excited Santana (who isn't usually a morning person) and an equally ecstatic Mr. and Mrs. Lopez. I already know something is up because we never eat breakfast as a family (also…I can read San like an open book).

"What's going on guys?" I say cautiously. I start to get a bad feeling about this. What if they are kicking me out? What if I'm going to have to go back with my dads or live with someone other than Santana. I'm already afraid of a lot of people, I don't trust anybody but the Lopez's and a few others who might not be willing to give me housing. Uh-oh…this could be really bad.

Sanny seems to understand the look of dread on my face because she gets up to say something with a large smile on her face, and I can't help but smile back at her. "Rachel" she says about to explode from keeping in the unknown secret for so long, "Mom, Dad, and I have been thinking, and well, we wanted to know if you would like to be adopted." She stated with a hopeful face biting her lip. Santana was always afraid that she was overstepping her boundaries when she got really close with someone.

I beamed at her squealing, "Oh my god! Yes of course. I can see it now, Rachel Lopez. Oh god we have to go to court and talk to my dads and change my name! This is going to take a lot of organizing…" and like I did sometimes, my mouth started moving a mile a minute.

"OK! Hold on a second Rachel" said Mrs. Lopez. "It's our job to figure out the details. You just get settled in, and we will handle everything with your fathers and your new name" she said, smiling too as she spoke words that you could tell she was happy to let go of.

"Thank you guys so much." I said. "just last week I was going home to abusive fathers and now" I choked out, tears forming in my eyes, "I have this wonderful family who are more supportive of me than anyone who is actually related to me has ever been. I will never be able to thank you enough."

**Mr. Lopez****'****s POV: Morning, Lopez house**

I smiled. I'm not a very emotional man, but my eyes were glassing over too. I had seen Rachel grow accustomed to the life of a good family, and it was really the little things that had pushed me over the edge: the way that Rachel found it amazing to be able to work in her room instead of having to be able to go to the library, the way she constantly had 3 people to choose from when she needed a shoulder to cry on, the way she smiled every time she had a home-cooked meal because before it happened no more than 2 times a year. These things that I had taken for granted before she had become a Lopez now never ceased to make me thankful for things that she hadn't had at all her entire life. Even though Rachel would occasionally flinch when I raised my had to touch her. She was so strong to have come all of this way, and I couldn't have been more proud to welcome her into my family as our newest "almost perfect" addition. See that was the thing with our family, because no one was perfect. We were all a little insecure, so we understood each other and how to treat one another in the best way possible. We were the perfect mix.

**Santana****'****s POV: Morning, to school**

"OK Rach, we'd better go. We don't want to be late again." I said grabbing a muffin and my bg and heading out of the front door to my car. Rachel followed swiftly still overcome with joy and this new expression I had never seen her wearing, I think it was peace. She was at peace with herself, with her friends, and with her fathers (in some crazy sort of way). Rachel sort of thought that because they were getting justice, they were suddenly at peace. And in an even crazier sort of way, that was sort of true. But it didn't matter because there was no way that she was getting close at all to her former-abusers with me close by her as her best friend and soon-to-be sister.

"Coming!" she said on her way out of the door. We drove to school in silence. Although I was happy to see her so happy, I was still upset over Puck. But what could I do, they were "in love", and I can't just sabotage my sister. I mean yes, I am pretty low to some people, but that's hitting rock bottom right there. So I just have to hold my tongue and wait until Puck realizes that I was made for him and that Samchel was meant to happen sooner or later. I mean really…the world needs a new type of berries…EVANBERRIES! But that's just my opinion (and probably Sam's because he's obviously desperately in love with her).

**Puck****'****s POV: Morning, school hallway**

"Hey my Hot Little Jewish American Princess!" I say, greeting my new beautiful girlfriend. I'm so excited to finally be able to hold her hand in the hallway and call her "my girl". It's the little things that I've been waiting for. The ones that Finn took for granted a million times over when he slept with Q.

"Why hello there Noah!" she responds. I take her books out of her hands before she can protest and hold out my free hand for her to take, which she does. But when I feel her touch, there is no spark.

**Rachel****'****s POV: Morning, English class**

As Puck drops me off at English class I have time to sit down and think before class starts. I can't help but think that when I touched his hand, nothing jumped out at me. It was like there was something missing, a piece from my heart that he didn't quite fill, but I couldn't put my finger on it just then. A song comes to my mind, and I try to push it out, but I just can't

_ He can__'__t see the smile I__'__m faking_

_ And my heart__'__s not breaking_

_'__Cause I__'__m not feeling anything at all_

Leave it to Taylor Swift to know exactly how I'm feeling all of the time. God it's like she never sleeps.

**Santana****'****s POV: After School**

I finally made it through the day without commenting on Rachel and Puck once. Everyone else was saying how cute they were or how it was awesome because they would make perfect little Jewish babies that would be adorable but extremely bad ass, determined, and musical. My parents are both at work, and Rachel and Puck are on a date. The last thing I expect to hear is the doorbell signaling that someone is here. But that's exactly the sound that fills my ears while I'm trying to concentrate on my boring History assignment.

I take my time walking downstairs thinking that it can't be anyone important. Rachel, Mom, and Dad would all have their keys, so it has to be someone outside of our close-knit family.

I open the door and find myself looking into the sea green eyes of none other than Trouty Mouth. I look up to try and read his expression, but to no avail. We just stand there silent before I finally break the awkward quiet with, "so did you just come here to stare at me, or is there a reason I'm not doing my History homework right now."

Sam seems to break out of his daze and get the courage to say what he came here for (something a little more on the expected side since I just had Puck come over to say the same thing).

"Um, well, I, uh," he stutters. "Spit it out Trouty!" I say (I've never been the patient type). "I'm in love with Rachel, but she's dating Puck. I need your help." He finally spits out.

"Ok, well there's no shocker in the whole "I'm in love with midget" too thing, but there is another twist to the tale. The fact that I want Puck, so there is something in this for me, and I kind of have an idea of what we should do" I say, shocking Sam when a devilish grin slides across my face.

"Well what's the plan?"

"…"

"…"

**Ooooh! A cliffhanger. You guys will never see this one coming. Well actually you might if your name is FabrevansIsEndgame because you helped me come up with it (thanks again), but otherwise, you probably won****'****t. I****'****m again sorry that it was short, but the next chapter is when most of the drama will start, and that will hopefully be up by tomorrow, maybe Thursday if I****'****m running late. It all depends on my mood (and we kind of ran out of cornbread which is a bad sign****…****I will need to find a different yummy, unhealthy carb to take me out of writer****'****s block ) Please review with favorite parts, least favorite parts, constructive criticism, ideas, interest in editing positions, etc. I will continue to wow you with my ninja writing skills very soon!**

**Bye for now****…****cbell123 **

**P.S. I really need to think of like a signature closure for all of my chapters****…****oh well, I****'****m cool enough already.**


	10. AN: Chapter 75

Hey guys, it's Caroline (cbell123)! I just wanted to clear up the fact that I put a chapter in between chapter 6 and chapter 7. Chapter 7 has become chapter 8. Just clearing up any confusion. Sorry about this, I know it's not normal, but since when am I normal? Anyways, I just had to add this scene for a little bit of Santana/Valerie mother-daughter bonding time. Hope you enjoy!


	11. AN: Summer Hiatus

**Hey guys it****'****s me Caroline (cbell123). I just wanted to let you know that I****'****m sorry that I haven****'****t posted in a while, but it****'****s been a really busy time of the year. I****'****m putting this story on hiatus for the summer. I might post a few times, but I will be out of town for most of the summer so I won****'****t have much computer access. Sorry for the bad news**

**Ta-ta for now,**

**Caroline **


	12. Chapter 9:I'm Sorry

**Chapter 9:**

**That's right guys! I'm sorry to have left you for so long, but now that everything is becoming less crazy, I have had some time to write. You might be able to expect a new chapter in the near future, but up until then enjoy this chapter. **

**Rachel's POV: **

Noah is like a brother to me, and I love him so much. But that same song keeps coming back to me…

_He can't see the smile I'm faking_

_And my heart's not breaking_

_'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all_

It's so true though. I just don't feel sparks when we touch. I don't see fireworks when we kiss. It's like we're perfect for each other in theory, but when it actually happens, he needs someone that's not me.

So, I've decided to break up with him and decide to just be friends. When he stops by my locker he looks around like he's nervous. I know him well enough to know that he really needs to tell me something. Well I really need to tell him something too.

"Noah, I nee-" "Rach I really need to tell you something" Noah interrupted. "I really think that I should go first." I say, completely oblivious to whatever he's going to say.

"No Rach I think you're gonna want to hear me first…" he says, obviously not knowing what I'm about to say. "Well why don't we go at the same time", I compromise, "ready...set...go"

"I think we should break up", we say at the exact same time, startling each other out of our own words.

"It's like I built up this image of us dating in my head for forever, but then when it actually happened, it didn't have the same spark as I did while it was just puppy dog love, you know?" he said, summing up what I was thinking perfectly. "Yes", I said, the similarity of our words making me smile along with the fact that this isn't going to be awkward, "I really liked you better as my perfect older brother than my boyfriend, Noah"

He smiles sadly and kisses my cheek, and I know that now he's thinking that there's no one out there for him. "Noah, I know exactly what you're thinking, and I want you to stop it right now!" I say. He laughs at the fact that I know him better than himself and then smiles sadly, "I know it's just that I always had this goal to get up the courage to talk to you about how much I liked you, and now that that's over I don't really know where to go from where I am now."

I giggle at the attitude that is a polar opposite of what he wants everyone to see him as (why he wants to be such a "badass" I haven't quite figured out) and respond, "Noah, any girl in this school would be happy to have you, trust me." "Always" he says without missing a beat. "I think that while you were wrapped up with how 'perfect' we could be, you were missing out on all of the other opportunities. All you have to do now is open your eyes and wake up", I say, and he places a kiss on my forehead before walking away with a new confidence that he didn't know he could have.

**Sam's POV**

THEY BROKE UP! I know that normally it would be really bad to be happy when your two best friends break up, but it was on such friendly terms that I couldn't help but be happy that Rachel was back on the market. Now I just had to come up with a plan to get her to fall in love with me...and fast because no one got snatched up quite as fast as Rachel Berry...er…Lopez.

**Santana POV:  
><strong>I see Rachel walking up to me and she looks really happy…and I snap on the inside. She has everything...a family, a house, head cheerleader, and Noah (basically my dream life).

"Ugh Santana I have the Bio test next. Life sucks." she says frowning.

"How can you ever be sad." I start to raise my voice, "You have everything I every wanted. You are head cheerleader, every guy here wants you, and not just to sleep with once, but because you're perfect. And Noah, God how long have I had a stupid school-girl-crush on Noah. Just stop complaining about everything you stupid brat!" I scream at her instantly wishing that I could take back what I had said. And she promptly bursts into tears.

"Really Santana" she says, her voice coming out in a broken whisper, "I didn't know you felt that way. Maybe I was a little busy being unconscious from beating after beating while no one noticed. Or being cheated on by my boyfriend with the girl who made my high school experience complete hell, you know, other than the fact that I dreaded going home every night. Or maybe I was breaking up with my boyfriend because neither of us felt those fireworks that I've been dreaming of my entire life. Or trying to find someone who actually loves me and not just my popularity or Cheerio's skirt. Or pushing my way through all of the people who keep telling me that I'm so very loved. If I'm so loved, then why did my dads beat me? Why did they love my sister more than me? Why did they take away Katie? Why don't I feel sparks when I hold Noah's hand? Why is my so-called sister jealous and mad behind my back all of the time? Why can't I listen to the name Samantha without wanting to throw up? Why do I flinch every time a dad tries to touch me? Why am I so damn broken if I have everything you ever wanted?" she says, desperately trying not to cry, "I'm sorry you feel that way Tana" she said, her voice cracking only slightly, but it was enough to break my heart.

I can't believe that just happened. First of all Rachel and Puck broke up? Second of all who are Katie and Samantha? Third of all why am I such a bitch. I decide that I need to sing her a song to apologize even if it were me, I would never forgive myself.

Glee comes around and even though I haven't had much time to prepare, I have the perfect song in mind.

I stood up in front of the whole club, something that is a miracle in its own, and said, "I have a song that I really need to sing. Rachel I said some things that were completely awful and I'm sorry. I know this song is supposed to be about a couple, but you're my best friend and I hope that you can forgive

_Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away_

_I missed you and things weren't the same_

_Cause everything inside it never comes out right_

_And when I see you cry it makes me want to die_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, _

_I'm sorry you're blue, _

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, _

_I love all your sounds, _

_And baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say I'm sorry_

_This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days_

_You get older and blame turns to shame_

_Cause everything inside it never comes out right_

_And when I see you cry it makes me want to die_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, _

_I'm sorry you're blue, _

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, _

_I love all your sounds, _

_And baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say I'm sorry_

_Every single day I think about how we came all this way_

_The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right_

_Oh yeah sorry!_

_I'm sorry I'm bad, _

_I'm sorry you're blue, _

_I'm sorry about all things I said to you_

_And I know I can't take it back_

_I love how you kiss, _

_I love all your sounds, _

_And baby the way you make my world go round_

_And I just wanted to say I'm sorry_

I poured every single emotion that I had into that song, and somehow, by the end of the song, we were sobbing into each other's arms. Somehow she knew that I was so sorry and so in love with Noah. And somehow I knew that she was so broken and needed someone that would never hurt her, and without fail, I knew that that was going to be me. And somehow, craziest of all, we fit together, broken in ways that couldn't be fixed without a bond like ours, and that was truly beautiful.

"I think it's time we go home Shue, it's been a long day", I said, Rachel grabbing my hand as we walked out the door, and suddenly all of the gaps that I didn't know were there had been filled, no questions asked.

"Rachel, I really want you to know that all of those things that I said weren't true. I mean yes, I'm in love with Puck and yes sometimes I'm a little jealous of you, but you never complain and you are so optimistic about all of these things that God has thrown at you, and you are so amazing." I said this, and I think I caught her off guard, but what surprised me the most was that she tensed up when I mentioned God.

"Thanks Tana, but I don't believe in God." she said. "Why not?" I said curiously. I don't think that I could've gotten through high school much less what Rachel went through without my mother saying that God loved me and cared about me so much.

"Because when I was little, God never answered my prayers." she said simply.

"Sometimes God answers our prayers in ways we don't understand. I think that God let you suffer so that one day you would be stronger and braver. Everything happens for a reason whether you believe in God or not. And I have one more question" I said, "who are Katie and Samantha" I asked quietly. The pale ghost way Rachel's face goes is enough warning that this is a touchy subject but her face changes into a sad one and she starts talking.

"Before I was born, I had an older sister, also from a surrogate mother. She was an angel baby. My dads named her Samantha, and they loved her so much that they decided to have another baby just like her." Rachel wipes away a tear as she says this, and I know that this is where her self-loathing is rooted at. "Then I came along, and things were okay. But soon, like always, things took a turn for the worst. Samantha caught pneumonia and died. My fathers were devastated. They became heartbroken and buried in their grief, and they started to drink and do drugs. When I was 10 the beating started. It was always because I wasn't good enough, or they didn't love me enough. At least that was what they said. I don't think they ever recovered. I thought that I was worthless and deserving of all of that stuff, so I never told anybody. Until I turned 13. That's when I met Katie. She was that girl who just radiated happiness, you know what I mean?" she smiled far away as if she had gone back in time to when she was just starting her teenage years and I nodded. "She was funny and polite but understanding and sweet. She always knew what to say to make someone feel better about themselves. She was a godsend. And we became best friends. I loved her more than anyone, and one day I just told her about everything, and she just comforted me. She understood me, and she didn't judge me for being 'that defenseless girl', she just got it. Looking back on it now though, I never really knew much about who she was or why she got it so well. She came over to my house a few times, when my dads were out drinking or at work. It became a regular thing. She was the only person who ever got to come over to my house. But then one day, my dads came home early and found her. They started beating both of us, but she tried to stick up for me, tried to help me, I went unconscious, but when I woke up, she was dead. I buried her outside the house. That's when I looked into who she was and where she had come from. She had been from a foster home in Lima with 50 other girls. They never even noticed that she was gone. And so after that, I never told anybody again." she was in tears now, but not the kind of tears that you would expect, a different kind. The kind that were soft and slow, yet all the more heartbreaking, and I held her and for the longest time we didn't say anything.

And then I broke the silence. "Alexandra", I said. "What", Rachel replied, confused as to why I was yelling out a random name in this special moment that we were having. "Alexandra. That's the name that makes me want to throw up. When I was a kid, I wasn't like I am now. I was the friendliest kid in my grade. I was happy and bubbly and never sad. My best friend was a girl named Alexandra. She was just like you had described Katie, that effortless perfection. One day I came to school and she wasn't there. I was sad, but I played with my other friends. The next day I was told that she was dead. She had died in a car accident. We were in fifth grade. My heart broke and I didn't talk to anyone for a long time. But then in 6th grade I joined Cheerio's and met you and Britz and then Tina and Mercedes, and everything was okay again. But I never went back to being Maria. That was what she always called me. Now they both make me sick to think about. Because it should've been me, not her. I get it." and then I had slow heartbreaking sobs to match hers, and we fell asleep in each others arms, not realizing that we were slowly fixing each other, one step at a time.

**I hope you liked it. Yes it's really sad, but it was time for their relationship to become deeper and more sister-like. I'm sorry they had to fight. Please give your opinions on Pucktana and Samchel and anything else you like or disliked. If you would like to see more of anybody please let me know and I'll see what I can do…next chapter will be the beginning of two new couples (wink, wink) **


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